Twenty Years

I’ve been given a gift this morning similar to one I received twenty years ago. The gift of space to do what needs to be done.

Twenty years ago it was to birth a baby.

Today it’s to birth a blogpost and to sort through some of the chaos that has collected around me.

Twenty years is a short-long time.

I won’t pretend to hide my age or act like you can’t figure out that if I was a twenty-two year old mom of one, then I must be forty-two now, but there I was. Twenty-two, married for two years, working full-time, and getting ready for baby number two to arrive.

Life has never been slow.

I’ve thought a lot about that day and how it was such a surprise that we got a dump of snow, but twenty years ago in-home technology wasn’t what it is today. There was no up-to-the-minute ability to see radar weather in real time via the world-wide-web as we know it. We didn’t carry connection to the world in our pockets.

I think my water just broke was my response to Steve’s excitement over the inches of snow covering our tiny deck that morning.

Eight births later, I would still think and wonder if labor had started.

Baby wasn’t due for ten more days, but he was coming, ready or not!

My father and brothers came to the rescue in their van with chains on the tires. The midwife needed to be picked up and brought in from the country. It was a planned home birth. They took Steve to get her, while mom and sisters stayed with me.

It was an event and the first time that Good Shepherd School ever closed its doors completely due to bad weather.

By 5:30 that evening, I was holding a tiny (to me) baby boy. The first words I said were What’s wrong with him?! because he was like a little stick man. I was sure that wasn’t good, just like I was sure to die in childbirth. Every. Time. I am not a model childbirth is awesome mother.

Nothing is wrong, he is perfect! assured the midwife. Not every mom births a 9lb 2oz baby first, so 7lb 4oz seemed miniscule. Tiny and perfect. 

The memory of our first night together has me sitting propped up in bed snuggling baby boy close. Moms learn to do what needs to be done, and none of my babies have been content to separate from me having been hunkered down inside for nine months. What needed to be done that night was just hold and snuggle and not even think about trying to ease him to sleep next to me.

So here we are, twenty years later. Charles Caleb has the day off from college at George Mason University due to snow. He has six more siblings, some of whom will get to visit him at the end of April for Sibling’s Day. The picture above, taken at Christmas this year, collected enough Facebook likes for some free tickets. Thank you to all who helped us out with that process!

5 thoughts on “Twenty Years

    1. mommypancis Post author

      I’m sure it had nothing to do with the protein shakes I was drinking and all of the healthful foods I was eating to ensure a perfect firstborn child…which, of course, I got!

  1. Stephanie

    Kate, now I am laughing at your “robust” comment and our conversation this morning. EAT ALL THE FOODS!!

    Happy Birthday, Bubsie!!

  2. Davene Grace

    Thanks for sharing your memories. They are precious, and your humor sprinkled into the mix never fails to make me smile. Happy birthday to Caleb! (And hooray that you won the free tickets – I’m so glad!) 🙂


Thanks for heart-composting with me! I appreciate your words.

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