This is not easy.
Yesterday was hard.
As I walked through it, I found three dimes in three separate locations. If you know my story with the dimes, then you know the meaning. Short version, it is how I am reminded that God sees me and will provide for all of the needs.
So finding three separate dimes throughout the day was especially meaningful.
There were also words.
Three different voices, each wise, each with a unique perspective, spoke truth and kindness to my heart. Via text, in person, and through email, I felt seen by sisters who care.
In my pocket on the way to a conversation was a fourth dime preparing me to believe that God was with me in that space, also.
It was hard. These days there is always one more thing that feels as if it will be the one that breaks me past the point of all repair. But it didn’t and it doesn’t. I should have broken beyond repair long ago, but I am still here. Changed, but still here.
Today a voice from yesterday met me with lunch and conversation and affirmation and dreams, with hope in her eyes. She listened and heard and saw me and spoke truth.
There is freedom in being seen and loved in the middle of the mess. Of knowing it’s not all on me, in spite of what I may think or feel.
To look up over lunch carried into the studio and meet eyes that see is a sweet gift.
It is what bolsters me on to keep going and gives me the courage to engage.