This week has been long. Lots of disruption. Lots of struggle. Lots of strife.
For one who likes things to be even and smooth and predictable, I have had to adjust even more to things not going according to my plan or idea of what should be.
It has been hard.
There has been darkness and crying out to God for clarity and help.
There has been fear and over-responsibility and taking on much of not mine and having to throw it back again.
There has been intentional time with God and with the wise words of others, trying to get something to soften and sink into my locked-down heart.
There has been mess everywhere.
So I try to sort it out…both physically and emotionally, though the physical part is much easier, and can’t bear to throw away this puzzle piece that has appeared on the floor of my room. I just know that the instant I do, someone will come looking for it…because I know things.
It makes a great bookmark for the devotional I am reading, and I use it to hold my spot, because I need help remembering things like where I was and where I am.
This morning while reading about fear and while trying to squeeze every last moment of quiet and contemplation out before I must get up and face this day for real, I read…
Lord God, you work in ways that amaze me. You and you alone see the big picture and how the puzzle piece I am fits in. (R.A. McCann, But God)
And, yes, I am amazed, and I look at my puzzle piece bookmark and hold it in my hand a minute, thankful for the One who knows how I fit.
Because I am still wondering….