We were in the kitchen, adult son and I.
I was fixing lunch, quesadillas. Easy.
We were talking about the day and about feelings and life. I told him about an upcoming trip that had me feeling nostalgic. He told me about an incident he had witnessed over the weekend that turned on my tears.
He began to apologize. There was no need. He had done nothing wrong. I was feeling my reality. The tears were inviting me into more of it.
Last week we were on vacation. We had a beach day. Every year we take the same lunch in the cooler.
- Ritz crackers
- Polska kielbasa cut into slices
- Easy cheese in cheddar and American styles
- sodas and water
- some kind of fruit
When I am well-prepared there are also paper plates and napkins. This year was a not-well-prepared year. We had to live dangerously, risking dropping the can of cheese in the sand or the cracker in the sand, or the meat into the sand.
All to be coated in sand.
There is always a lot of sand. Some people like the added texture. It is a lunch not for the faint of heart. It is the beach.
This year I noticed a can of Cheese Wow! mixed in with the name brand cheeses. My husband had offered to do the grocery run when we arrived in town to start our vacation. For a good $3 less, it was quite comparable.
But you have to say Cheese Wow!
So in the kitchen today, as my tears began to squeeze out of my eyes, I couldn’t hold them back. No matter how hard I tried to keep them in, they came squirting out.
Easy Tears just like the Easy Cheese at the beach. Just as salty, too.
I have a lot of them inside, crashing like the ocean’s waves.
That is all.