The Launching Season

These are my thoughts and feelings, once again, as another birdie prepares to leave the nest. Originally written when child 2 was leaving, now it applies to #4. Halfway there!

I cannot control everything in my life.
Especially the people.
And I can’t have them back as little.
And I am still overwhelmed by little.
And when little comes close to me, I tense and back away.

But I’ve missed little.
It quietly grew.
Year by year
Season by season
And I really tried, but I was tired.
And could only manage.
Barely survive.

And I want to ~need to~ release expectations and demands placed on me by myself.

I have to launch little birdies
to fly
and discover
and learn
and hurt
and succeed
and fail
and live.

little birdie

And life is happening in the foreground
While the background is

70’s furniture~ mismatched to boot
and dirty dishes
and bookshelf building
and kitchen remodels
and preparing for this
getting ready for that
and messy rooms
unmowed lawns
dirty laundry

And conversations happen
while piles remain
and projects wane.

Why am I so disheartened?
And hurting inside?
I’m grieving…

And I have the life of my kids

But I’m grieving the passing of time, and I can’t make one son shove the other one’s shoes on his feet.

5 thoughts on “The Launching Season

  1. Davene Grace

    I still have littles, as you well know, but I can already relate to the “I am overwhelmed by little” while at the same time “I miss little.” Weird how that works.

    Thanks as always, dear friend, for putting beautiful words to my thoughts! 🙂

    Reply
  2. Megan

    So very well said, Julie. I wonder if there a calligrapher around who can put this poem in a frame.

    Reply
    1. mommypancis Post author

      Megan! Hello! I am late to the reply game by, oh, two-and-a-half years. I love the idea of framing this. Thank you for the suggestion and for commenting on my words.

      Reply
  3. Pingback: Outgrowing and Growing | Composting the Heart

Thanks for heart-composting with me! I appreciate your words.