It’s that time, again.
Child 3 of 8 is graduating from high school, which means another mommy-final-exam has arrived. At least, that’s how I feel as I dig through boxes and computer files, looking for pictures and memories to assemble a display celebrating her childhood and school days. Celebrating her life!
I find myself cramming for this test, using free moments to cut and glue and sort and feel. Yes, feel. That’s the tough one. I have been able to race through much of my life NOT feeling things (which is for the I don’t know how you do it post eventually), so when the feelings wave crashes over me, it’s intense. I’m much better at the cutting and gluing.
Mom, are you ok? This sweet girl is always checking on my heart.
As I look through pictures of her brand new, at 3, 4, 8,12,15, deciding on how to arrange them, I find myself cutting away backgrounds.
cutting away the mismatched furniture to show the birthday girl holding up her gifts
cutting away the dirty dishes on the table to show the project she is working on
cutting away the pile of laundry on the couch to show her holding her new sibling
cutting away the unmade bed to show her playing with her dolls
I’m cutting away to focus on the person and the doing.
Why do I get so caught up in the parts of life that will be cut away?
I am learning to view life through that cutting-away lens. When I get caught up in the overwhelming spiral of all that is not getting done while I care for a child or email a friend or encourage a faint heart or have my own heart encouraged, I try to remember to look through the lens of what is lasting and what will be cut away.
The only lasting things in life are people’s souls. Everything else will be cut away.