Thankful for Pushing-Through Grace

Let your compassion quickly meet our needs, for we are on the brink of despair. . .
Then we your people, the sheep of your pasture, will thank you forever and ever, praising your greatness from generation to generation.
Psalm 79:13

I am teetering there on the brink of despair, not wanting to pitch over, yet feeling the pull.

Physically I am in a rough place with my body image and pain level.

Emotionally I am weary.

You can’t always judge someone by what you see. Externals can mask internal struggles. They can be a grace.  Don’t think that you already know. You don’t.

I realized my temptation to craft, order, and control this week by the simple act of looking up a Friday craft activity to do with my students. I hit up a place that I rarely visit to find something to do with paper towel rolls and construction paper.

Pinterest.

Scrolling through ideas and kid crafts, (these weren’t even gracious home decorating ideas!), I felt the discontent that stirs when one feels like they are living in the less than and chaos.

I am not in a season of gracious crafts and centerpieces and tastefully decorated mantles and fun kids’ Thanksgiving tables, yet square after square of coziness taunted me, causing me to wonder what if? 

I long to be crafty and orderly and cozy and controlled.

Those things are not what will satisfy my heart.

So this morning as a new day dawns, and a new round of struggle begins, my prayer is for grace to continue to push though.

We are all pushing through wherever it is that we need grace to sustain us.

Please help me to push through, Father. This is a tough, tough place.

You’ve been there before.

You will be there again.

You are always there.

You are with me.

I am thankful that Jesus is with me in the struggle, and that he sent crafting grace in the form of saved paper towel tubes found in the back office of our classroom (5 of them that I cut into thirds), paper plates from the kindergarten room, brown feathers from the random extra craft supply drawer in the teacher work room, scraps of red felt left from V-day (there were hearts cut out of it), and lots of washable poster paint. The ultimate classroom grace is always found in the form of my partner teacher whose calm demeanor, patient spirit, and easy sense of humor makes the hard stuff about every day not quite so hard.

photo 2

Can you find little Mae’s and Coco’s turkeys gracing the mantle in the above picture, easing us from fall decor to Thanksgiving? Mine and Roo’s are still at school waiting to celebrate at the Thanksgiving party!

Thanks for heart-composting with me! I appreciate your words.