Tasting Sadness

Come to earth to taste our sadness, He whose glories knew no end;
By His life He brings us gladness, Our Redeemer, Shepherd, Friend.
Leaving riches without number, Born within a cattle stall;
This the everlasting wonder, Christ was born the Lord of all.

It was a dark Saturday leading into a dark Sunday morning. Heavy-hearted, shame-laden, I began the process of getting ready for church.

I didn’t want to go.

It’s difficult to describe the all-consuming heaviness that threatens to swallow you up to someone who hasn’t been there. However the pain manifests, it’s a grace to have someone be with you in and through it and reach down to help you out of it.

My life-partner is someone like that.

A series of mercies had us riding to second service with minimal strife. A glance down at my silenced phone revealed a text from a heart friend…the kind that can lift you from the mire with a few lines sent from several states away. The reminder that you are not alone in the struggle for your heart.

Sadness lessened. 

I was supposed to be on worship team this week, but a friend offered a holiday switch. Grace upon grace. I couldn’t have been on this Sunday.

Yesterday I was ready to be finished with it all. Blogging. Worship team. Stephen Ministry. Facebook. Anything involving people, interaction, hearts.

As we began to sing Come Thou Long Expected Jesus, my heart settled in to rest. Come to earth to taste our sadness…advent begins.

He came to taste what had been threatening to swallow me whole.

Continuing the fight to stay present and open, I allowed myself to listen and receive words and be challenged. I witnessed new life being celebrated.

I allowed my heart to crack open a bit to feel joy.

As the drummer rocked us into Joy to the World, in an unexpected and untraditional way, joy flooded my heart. As we settled into a very traditional Doxologymy heart settled to receive the benediction.

Yes, Zach, you called it. There was a blogpost in my head. I wanted to capture the unexpected candlelight for the image. Great minds and all…thanks for the heart lift.

Thanks for heart-composting with me! I appreciate your words.