Deep breaths and quiet and oh, the tears. The space that I long to fill, fills me. Arriving home after a full morning of singing on worship team, the house is eerily and deliciously silent.
While husband, children, and dog are away on an afternoon adventure, I putter in the kitchen, nap in my room, and rise to spend a few minutes writing before the next thing.
It is my last day of summer. It’s not really summer’s last day, but it is the last day of summer routine for me. Tomorrow I return to working my day job for a fourth year.
With this in mind, I wanted to finish the VBS wrap up that has been sitting in the draft folder since the end of July ~ which wasn’t that long ago, but if I don’t get it written, then it will be long gone and just another memory.
This was my best year at VBS and confirmation that Preschool KidVid Cinema is my VBS fit. In years past, I haven’t been as sure.
My first year of running Chadder’s Theater was full of surprises, both personally and in my changing role from Preschool Station Leader to the video person.
The following year found me running Preschool KidVid with none of my own children coming through the station. That was a huge milestone.
Last year I was met with the challenge of resting in unrest when the DVD that I was to show, the main point of the station I run went missing. One of the littles was finally old enough to help. Another milestone.
It’s hard to believe that this was my fourth year of running this particular station and my sixth year of helping out in some capacity. When I started, the littles were 7, 5, 3, and 2. Before that, I sent the bigs to VBS and stayed home with my own nursery of littles.
There was much ambivalence about whether to sign up again this year. My heart wrestled through many things including, but not limited to, where I am in this season, the work I am doing for fall, the limited time I have for myself, and the over-responsible place in me that often takes on more than is healthy, rather than allowing others the space to step up.
I passed by the sign-up table many Sunday mornings still praying about it. I really was. I was shown much grace every time. There was never pressure.
When I finally felt peace about signing on, it was because I still have four children to shepherd at home. I wanted something that we could all do to serve together, and while I could have sent them in and taken time for myself, I felt convicted to lead by example. I felt the call to offer up a sacrifice of time and the gift that I have to work with lots of littles to model service for my children.
And it was the best year, yet.
I loved working with the preschoolers that came through my station each day. I loved working with the crew leaders, station leaders, and other helpers. I loved being a support to those who stepped up into the major leadership roles.
I loved working with the preschool director.
At the end of the week, my heart felt so very full. I felt the maturing of my own children. For the first time we were able to leave VBS together each day without big meltdowns. This year one was a helper. Next year two will be of age.
I want to remember that it was a good week. I want to affirm that using this skill set and gifting of mine in this context was a joy, and that I received far more than I gave. While each year brings its own challenges, and we never know what the next one will hold, this one was sweet.
I am grateful.