The third month of 2016 is upon us, and I am revisiting where I am with this year’s word.
I see it every day across my room, resting on the shelf of mini-books in the corner.
When I chose this word, I envisioned things like restorative yoga poses and gentleness on my body and spirit. It was almost like a time out or time off or freedom to not do much of anything.
I had little specific direction, which was fine with me. Honestly, I wanted to just survive the year with another child graduating from high school and adjust to the next batch moving up and into and through the middle school ranks.
Then I took the leap and applied to the Allender Center’s Lay Counseling Certificate Program. I filled out the online application and sat through a phone interview and now wait to see what will happen next.
Then there was the goals challenge offered by my firstborn that I accepted. I wrote down specific goals for the year with the intention of working on them and marking my progress. This discipline uncovered some things about me and my history that I would rather ignore, but my response to feedback from others is challenging me to address more hurt.
Maybe the locusts ate my self-confidence. Maybe they swallowed my voice. Maybe they hijacked my ability to risk. Maybe they devoured my dreams. Maybe those are what will be restored as I lean into 2016.
I will restore to you the years
that the swarming locust has eaten
Joel 2:25, ESV
Right now I don’t have a clear focus. I sit in much unrest and uncertainty, even as I take on the challenges of each day. Of one thing I am certain. I can rest in unrest and settle into uncertainty and move through the journey with confidence that he who began is faithful to complete.