Times are full. They just are.
It has been over a week since I’ve written anything or even opened my computer. Thoughts bumping around in my head beg to be released, but there is too much else to take care of. Too much to do.
Like love my family. Teach my students. Be present in my relationships. Live in real time.
So I intentionally leave the computer closed. I still the voices demanding that I keep up and catch up and hurry up.
But it’s really hard.
Little Mae planted sunflowers late in the season. By late, I mean that they finally opened a week or so ago, long after people were posting sunflower fields pictures on facebook.
Random sunflowers began opening around the yard, kind of like the moonflower.
I miss my sunflower boy who used to do the same thing. He looked forward to planting sunflower seeds and red geraniums each spring. Squeeze those little boys, mamas. Before you know it, they will be turning sixteen, and planting flowers won’t be as high of a priority anymore. Sunflowers will be a sweet memory to laugh about with him and cry into your pillow.
Little Mae and I took a walk around the yard the other afternoon. She was excited to see a big bumblebee busily working away at the big flower and a small bee at the small flower. I was fascinated by how focused and methodical they were, each taking care of its own business, fully present in the task at hand.
Look, Mommy! Look at how many moonflowers are open!
It’s the daily alert. Sure enough, four flowers had opened the night before. Inside one of them, a bumble bee was busily seizing the fleeting moment of openness to take care of business.
These have been my mental images when I need to focus on my own work and my own business. There is too much else going on in the world. On facebook. In the lives of those around me.
It’s too easy to feel too big, too important, too burdened.
There is too much to see. To hear. To become involved with and entangled by.
It’s easy to get sucked in, pulled under, dragged down.
My job isn’t to carry the weight of the world and the weight of everyone else’s world on my shoulders. It’s to be busy about the business that I have been called to do.
Just like my garden friends, whose work seems so small and insignificant until we are spooning up local honey and enjoying local fruits and flowers because of their faithfulness to their calling.
Carry on, Friends!