It is easier for me to listen to and believe the negative that I hear from my children so much more than the positive. An angry tirade begins about how there are Never any clean clothes around here, because NOBODY does the laundry, and I shrivel up inside and start to believe it. All because someone is upset about having to wear something they don’t want to. Or because they failed to put their favorite outfit in the hamper after wearing it. It’s not about me or the laundry, but I quickly make it that.
In the same way, when a child comes to me to sort out feelings of anxiety about growing up, I hear her words Because grownups don’t like to do fun things, and I don’t want to be sad all of the time and begin to personalize it. This does nothing to help her process her own feelings and, once again, it becomes about me. It’s a vicious cycle.
So for today’s exercise, I am going to focus on believing and dwelling on the positive things my kids say. Rather than allowing the negative to fill me, I will believe and embrace and feel the love. Because it’s there.