Keepsake from the Chaos

Married January 4, 1992, I was expecting my second child in March, 1994.

Our first married Christmas together was not as a couple but as a family. Our second Christmas together, we were Awaiting our second little lamb.

This ornament was made for me by a new friend that year. A woman older and wiser and more virtuous with many more children who also had time (or made time) to make crafts, gave this to me.

It became a treasured keepsake.

Even as I think back and remember, my eyes fill with tears.

So young. So idealistic. So much ahead. So much already broken at 22.

None of us knows the journey before us. That is a good thing. I daresay any of us would be able to get out of bed if we knew.

I don’t know what prompted my friend to make this and give it to me. I can’t remember.

I’d like to think it was an older mother reaching out to a younger, overwhelmed one in a way that she knew.

We walked a long path together for many years. Our paths changed in ways we never would have imagined that Christmas of the craft. Our paths cross in unexpected ways these days.

I hold this, and her, close to my heart each year as I lovingly hang this mama sheep ever-awaiting her little lamb.

It’s a special keepsake from the chaos of my life back in ’93. It reminds me that somebody saw.

Our second little lamb will be home in a week. He is not so little, anymore, and I have to let him be an adult. That is hard. Hard, yet necessary and good.

I remember holding that little one. My smallest baby who always wanted to be held close. Sent to a mother who didn’t know what it meant to feel or trust but who knew that babies need love, so she would try really hard.

She tried. 

Thanks for heart-composting with me! I appreciate your words.