Hoarding Grace

A new school year has begun. It is hard to believe that it has been three years since this happened. You know how things look different in three years? I’m feeling it.

This school year my mantra is daily grace. My theme is grace enough. With so much going on in various aspects of life, big things and small things, if I lose focus on daily graces, I will drown. Daily graces are gifts that happen in the moment to help ease the load a bit. They are unpredictable, often surprising, and easily missed if not intentionally noticed.

Daily grace is grace enough.

The problem comes when I try to hoard grace. When I grab onto a gift I have been given in a moment and analyze and question and cling to and demand that it be like this every time, I lose sight of the gift that is grace. Grace enough says, Wow! What a gift that was!

The first day of school, grace enough was unexpected morning texts from friends, a donut from a fellow teacher, pizza brought home for dinner. The following days, grace appeared in different forms. A big field trip was scheduled, an encouraging Stephen Ministry meeting happened, food appeared for supper each evening, the first Friday pencil can activity was successful without using ModPodge.  (I have learned a thing or two over the years, and colorful “Duck Tape” works just as well or better with NO MESS!!!!)

So here I sit on Sunday afternoon with week one of school behind me. While savoring all of the grace from last week, I begin to stress about this one. Sunday evenings have historically been hard for me. I begin to feel the stress of the upcoming week and grieve the end of the weekend.

Choosing to focus on daily grace invites me to look with surprise and anticipation about what the upcoming week will bring. What does God have in store that I have yet to discover? When I change my perspective to one of openness and stop trying to pack grace manna into jars to save on a shelf for next time, I find myself breathing easier and trusting more. I also find fewer worms. (unless I am shucking the grace that is home-grown, pesticide-free garden corn)

This grace enough is such a slow process for me and carries quite a steep learning curve. I want to have everything nailed down and figured out and neatly planned. I long for ease and comfort all day every day. Instead I am given the daily grace that is grace enough to carry me through the hard, uncomfortable places and lead me to where I have yet to go.

As I look out of my bedroom windows at the bright blue sky and bright yellow sunflowers bowing their heads, I am grateful for the grace of this quiet afternoon to rest and write and refresh my soul. In this moment, it is enough.

It’s all grace.

Thanks for heart-composting with me! I appreciate your words.