I’m thankful for friends.
I’m thankful for those who love me without strings. Who show up at my workplace with chocolate cake and lavender essential oil and iced tea just because. Who follow the Spirit’s leading and refresh my heart.
It was so refreshed.
These last two weeks have been difficult. Of course, the beginning of a new school year, new routine, is always a challenge, but more than that, my heart has been struggling. It’s been in a war, and I can’t see the end of it, yet. Can’t find respite. Must. Keep. Going.
That’s really hard for me.
I’m thankful for those who love me with food. Who call, and when I can’t answer my smartphone due to a finicky touch-screen, leave a message. Then send a casserole over the next day.
Seriously. Who DOES that?
I am grateful.
I’m thankful for those who pray with me and encourage me to remain full of faith when all seems really bleak and feels really used up. Who are simply a text away. Who let me be real in a few message clouds and tell me they love me in all of my mess.
Yes, you, Girlfriend. You listened in a way that I needed to be heard. Thank you.
There’s not enough.
Not enough time. Not enough energy. Not enough space. Not enough years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes to spend together.
I’m working on it. Figuring it out. Those pesky limitations.
I won’t ever figure it out.
Once again,reality has smacked me in the face, causing me to step back, re-evaluate, examine, be curious about what it is that I’m able to do. Really.
I can’t meet them all. The expectations. Known or unknown.
The unknown expectations are the worst. The ones you don’t even know you aren’t meeting. Blissful ignorance. Until it’s not.
So, Friends, in this disjointed way, I want to say Thank you in advance for friendship grace in this season of uncertainty.
Some of you have shown me grace upon grace for the better of 25 years.
Some of you are going through incredible life changes this very week, hard, painful things, and the best I have been able to give you is an I’m praying for you on Facebook. And you show me grace. You thank me for praying and mean it.
What a gift your friendship is to me. Truly.
I love you, Friends. I realize that this is fuzzy and disjointed, but it’s all I can do for tonight. For now.
And that has to be okay.