Five Months

Sitting at the computer this Sunday afternoon, a deep longing to pound out meaningful words fills my heart. This is a preciously tiny snippet of time that I have to possibly think and write and remember and celebrate 5 months of blogging.

But there are voices and noises and animal sounds and children asking questions to which they don’t really want answers.

I want to focus. I try so hard.

But the voices are loud and annoying, and the bird is banging in its cage, and these crumbs on the computer desk are driving me crazy.

Isn’t there something inside?

There is too much going on inside, and way more going on outside, and that is how I know I am not getting space. Everything is jamming together and sloshing out around the edges and not in a good way.

There’s the recurring theme that it’s always too much, and I want my life to be so contained and controlled. It is a different kind of too much these days, but I still need to be present.

That means getting out the Hello Kitty toys and listening to the door open and close countless times and enduring giggles and banging feet and endless questions when all I want to do is run away to write. It’s where I am today in my real world.

Happy Five Months to you, Composting the Heart!

Thanks for heart-composting with me! I appreciate your words.