I am on worship team today.
I have said it before and will hold fast to it still, it’s always the team that God has ordained for that week.
Life is full. So very full.
I sat out of a complete two-month team rotation due to our family’s fall transition and the need to be present for them and not over-extended. Singing on worship team is a life-giving love of mine, but it can’t be at the expense of my family’s well-being. That’s not love.
This cycle offered one Sunday open. Singing on team requires the commitment of a Wednesday night practice and an all-morning Sunday presence, beginning at 7am. I have to look closely at my weeks and schedule and see what I can commit to with integrity.
Thanksgiving is coming up and Christmas. This year my entire extended family of origin will be in town for Christmas. Fourth Sunday is walker nursery. That’s always out. Stephen Ministry is two Tuesdays a month. It’s difficult to do both in the same week. All of these factors added up to one possible Sunday that I could be on team. I knew it wasn’t guaranteed, but I sent that date in anyway.
That is one of many things that I LOVE about our worship team. We are available and willing but not indispensable. It’s not about who is on stage but Who we are worshiping.
I got my one date. It was the first Sunday in November. I was excited to see who was on team with me and eager to be leading with them once again.
Last Sunday, I was sitting with my family in our usual second row as my little Roo went on stage to join the church. The Bannisters were in their usual spot not far away.
At practice Wednesday night, I kept looking out over the sea of empty chairs and picturing their faces in their usual place. Warren and Linda are always in the far left section, the right if you are looking down from the stage. Warren’s height made him easy to spot, and he always had a smile for me as he sang and worshiped.
Yesterday, I sat in our usual row as our church body gathered to remember Mr. Bannister and say goodbye.
So today I will don a garment of praise, though my spirit feels heavy.
Raised on the KJV and NKJV what has been running through my mind this week is Isaiah 61:3
To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.
Today I will once again worship through grief.
It will not be about how I feel but about Who God is.