Category Archives: be

Not Behind

I am not behind, though it feels that way.

I am right where I am supposed to be right now.

This is what I am supposed to be doing.

Today that looks like still being in lounge wear at 3:17. No condemnation. The voices try, but I choose to refuse to listen. At least in this moment.

Day two of Christmas break has been a full one. Somehow I passed enough kitchen skills along to an eleven-year-old that she was able to mix up the gingerbread cut-out cookie dough by herself while I drove her brother to practice saxophone with Grandpa.

When I returned, she was ready for her little sisters to join her in rolling and cutting out Christmas cookies. I mixed up another batch for the inevitable, Can we make more?, but I did not have to be involved with any rolling out or cutting. I only had to slide pans in and out of the oven.

I did have to listen to conflict which just about did me in. I let them resolve it, though, and things were fine.

Not behind.

I messaged with a friend who is in a similar-yet-different season of hard, because the hard doesn’t have to look the same to struggle through it together. Just like our cookies didn’t all look alike coming out of the cutters or out of the oven.

Christmas cookie theology? Don’t worry. I’m not going there.

But wait. The crumbly broken deliciousness. . .nevermind.

So I am writing this mainly for myself and the ambivalent struggle I am currently having with my words. Feeling paralyzed about writing anything, because I feel so behind in life, I choose to combat that you’ll never catch up lie (or actually truth, because I won’t) and just jump in.

Hence, being right where I am supposed to be.

And the real thing about that is I am here now.

Sun comes up and we start again. ~ Mason Jennings

Thoughts on a Thursday

Thursday.

Last day of school.

My heart is filled to bursting with all that is inside. I long for humble acceptance of this place right now and what God has called me to this summer…not worrying about everyone and everything else. Taking steps to follow in obedience, even in the fearful places.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your path.             Prov. 3:5,6

God made hearts and understands them.

He understands mine and all that is inside. He is at work, and I can be still.

Lessons from a Date Night Fail

When someone gives you free tickets to an event in Charlottesville, telling you it is on a Wednesday, read the day for yourself on the actual ticket before making elaborate travel and babysitting plans.

When crunched for time, Jimmy John’s make great eating on the run. Hold the oil and ask for extra napkins.

When you need a boost of energy, stop for coffee. Always.

When traffic is easy and parking is light, try looking at your actual ticket.

When you are a day early for the event, try to stay present and enjoy the moment for what it is.

When you decide to visit Whole Foods Market, keep an eye on your man. Or at least stay close and engaged. And buy sea salted caramels to eat on the way home.

When you are driving home, look out the windows and be blessed by the beauty.

When riding in the car together for an hour each way, take advantage of time to talk. Risk talking about real things.

When you get a date night, enjoy it for what it is. Time together. Enjoy the person you are with fully, and it’s never a fail!