This morning I read Mark 14:1-11. This reminded me that the story is also found in Luke 7, which I pondered once upon a time in my journal and am still pondering and processing today. Following is what God revealed about my heart.
What is He showing you about YOUR heart today?
I am that immoral woman, the alabaster jar clutched tightly to my chest. It’s everything I have.
And if I give it up, then what? What will I cling to? Fall back on?
Once it’s broken and released, it’s gone. Then what?
Can I let it go at the feet of Jesus? Allow what I hold dear to be broken in sheer gratitude? Trust that Jesus will care ~ does care already ~ and defend me to my accusers ~ he has died for me ~ and forgive my many sins ~ they are forgiven ~ ?
Can I trust his words that I am saved? Can I go in peace about my life, leaving the judging and pontificating and accusing voices behind?
Just go ahead in peace?
Great God, Wise Father, Healer, Protector, I come to you this morning full of fear and insecurities.
I fear that what is in my alabaster box is not good enough to be broken at your feet. That the aroma rising from the brokenness will not be sweet but sour and self~indulgent.
I compare my box with countless others and find their aromas richer, deeper, more complex. My pride keeps me from going all in with what I have.
I desire to know and be known. I desire peace in the storm and freedom from comparisons. I desire contentment as I find that place in this world carved out just for me.
I desire you, Father.
I am afraid to break my box at your feet and let spill out all that I hold dear.
Please calm my fear and accept my life as an offering for you. I lay it at your feet.
Would you make it sweet?