Today my second-born turns 21. Another child reaches full adulthood. I know this deserves a post, but I’m having a hard time processing in the fulness of life, so I end up doing the ugly cry at 10:30 on birthday-eve when I am supposed to be reading in bed to unwind.
Then it hits me. I begin to focus and hone the vast overwhelming haze down to 21 things, so here goes.
1. I want to remember the tiny baby boy it brought to me by the big snow ten days early. My little leathery old man. Dressing him in the newborn sleeper that was too big and his first night where he didn’t want to be put down and at least that time I got it right and just held him. All night long.
2. I want to remember the toddler who couldn’t drool enough or chew on enough apples. Who rocked back and forth on his toddler legs as we danced together in the kitchen of the little white house while I cooked supper. Until the fried chicken caught on fire!
3. I want to remember the preschooler playing with pattern blocks, giggling through reading circles and playing with his friends. Being silly and selectively hearing. I think my child has a hearing problem.
4. I want to remember the kindergarten boy reading The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe and calling his classroom teacher mom.
5. I want to remember that little boy in soccer gear.
6. I want to remember watching a little boy Nascar racing on the back deck ~ alone tricycle-style~ the open kitchen window providing a priceless listen-in on the dialogue. And the winner is ~ Caleb!
7. I want to remember lego garages.
8. I want to remember a little boy listening to my NPR station, WMRA.
9. I want to remember a little boy singing his first SVCC solo after an afternoon of sledding. I want to forget the sledding accident and all of the yawning during the performance and the moment of panic when I realized my child might have a concussion!
10. I want to remember a bigger boy who was happy with video game birthday parties and no-bake chocolate cookie party favors.
11. I want to remember a phonecall advising my middle-school boy move up to concert choir the year of the Hawaii trip.
12. I want to remember Hawaii but not gum in middle-school age boy’s shorts pocket. Not the gum part.
13. I want to remember a tweenage boy with a green ukulele who became a teen with a guitar.
14. I want to remember a teenage boy playing music. Lots of music. Piano, guitar, clarinet, chimes. And the singing. I want to remember that, too.
15. I want to remember the hoodie.
16. I want to remember the conversation about going to HHS, and the boy who was willing to go for it.
17. I want to remember my son performing in musicals. Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat and How to Succeed in Business. So much fun.
18. I want to remember spending the day together checking out George Mason University to see if it would be a good fit. And all of the talking. To everyone. Lots of talking. And questions.
19. I want to remember the senior piano recital and reception and the milestone of graduation.
20. I want to remember the first visit home when my young man brought a beautiful young lady with him. Just a friend.
21. I want to remember everything, but so much is a blur!
I want my son to remember that his momwa will always love him. And does try to remember.
Happy 21st, Caleb! The irony is not lost on me that your life has been disrupted by a big snow affecting this birthday. It kind of started out that way!