Friendship Friday ~ Facebook

Last fall found me wrestling the Facebook conundrum, once again. It remained on my mind throughout the season, as I made the adjustment from working full time to being back home.

On the one hand, I loved being able to connect quickly and instantly with so many past and present friends and acquaintances. I loved being able to pop into their worlds at will to see the latest news. I loved the number of hits and shares that my blog posts received when I cast them out into Facebook land.

On the other hand, I hated the quick and instant connection with so many past and present friends and acquaintances. I hated being able to pop into their worlds at will to see the latest news. I still loved the affirmation and hits and shares and likes, though.

I sat in ambivalence for several months, vacillating from focusing on the positives to considering deleting the account, often within minutes of each other, usually when in a place of high social media stress and emotion.

My grounding felt shallow and weak as I struggled with identity issues, while carrying on with daily tasks. Facebook became an escape from what was best, even though there was some good. My default was scrolling and peering through everyone’s cyber-windows and feeling all of the feelings for all of the people while absorbing all of the issues.

Something had to change.

I decided to be intentional about whatever choice I made, and in the end chose to disable my personal account and keep the blog page open. It offered a middle ground and opportunity to reset my personal self while still engaging my writing self.

At the end of two weeks I feel more space in my soul and less stress for all of the things beyond my control. I feel more real-life connection. I feel less awareness of the theoretical and more grounding in the practical.

There are things that I miss.

I miss the instant connection. I miss the reminders of where I was 3, 5, 7, 9 years ago. I miss the cute pictures. I miss the events and invitations (sometimes) and tagging. I miss knowing when a weather apocalypse could be coming (actually, no I don’t). I miss my groups. I miss being in the loop about the things that could actually matter.

To be honest, I have received a screen shot or two from an adult child who knows I would appreciate what pops up in her feed or might need a heads-up regarding an impending school delay or possible snow day. My husband sometimes shares things with me from his feed. I am not guaranteed to see things, though.

What about you, Dear Readers? How do you engage social media and all that goes with it? What am I missing while on my hiatus? I would love to hear your perspective! Thank you for stopping by my cyber-space today, however you managed to find me.

6 thoughts on “Friendship Friday ~ Facebook

  1. Iris Nauman

    I love your words and thoughts. Many times they are a comfort and almost always I see me. I am struggling with Facebook also. More often than not, I am saddened by the posts of others. I use the excuse I am waiting on my sweetheart to close his account too. I guess it could happen. Perhaps I just need to muster up some courage and do it alone. Meanwhile, THANK you for your words! I HEAR YOU.

    1. Julie Post author

      Dear Friend this is the line that resonates “perhaps I just need to muster up some courage and do it alone.” I understand that feeling of making a choice for myself without waiting for someone else’s. I am not telling you what to do, but if you decide to, there is a choice to download your Facebook info so that you still have a copy of your photos and status updates, etc. I did that first with mine before deactivating the account “just in case” I decided not to go back. You can also just deactivate and rest from it for a period of time. I love having kindred spirits. We are not alone. Blessings.

  2. Angela Leffel

    I feel uneasy when I see thoughts of “deleting.” To delete a Facebook account would be like deleting a journal of sorts, if you know what I mean. That could lead to big regrets. Deactivation for a time, on the other hand, can be a lovely breather. With my dropped high-speed Internet, I have spent much less time on Facebook and that’s been positive. I still check in once or twice a day, so I don’t miss important news, like a death in someone’s family. I also use Facebook to share blog posts. I also many pictures of my pets!

    1. Julie Post author

      You can download and save your account information for posterity, just for info sake. I totally hear your thoughts. I do have a flash drive with my Facebook status updates and photos etc. Thanks for your perspective!


Thanks for heart-composting with me! I appreciate your words.